Tuesday, April 07, 2009

... continued.

"And why does it scare you so much? What I am? Why am I confined to hiding in myself? Why can’t I bare my soul with no misunderstandings, so misappropriations, no hope that someday I’ll ‘turn’? Is there any way to avoid a padded room, literal or otherwise?

"These flashes of inspiration only come now and again. The more I have them, the more I realize that I crave them. I want them. I don’t want them to go! I want my life to be a constant whirlwind. I don’t want to be able to keep up with myself… to ever settle down long enough to learn if I’ve missed anything. I want to fill every single nano-second with something meaningful, and hopeful, and beautiful, and intricate. I want to live a reverie, not just dream about creating one in the future.

"Because the future, well, it eventually becomes now. And the reverie still isn’t there – it gets pushed off towards tomorrow. A tomorrow that never comes to fruition because, well, tomorrow becomes today, and the reverie stays there: tomorrow.

"I need to calm this urge that yearns for the adrenaline of the unknown."

No comments: