Dance dance revolution

So I feel really out of control lately.

Everything... is complicated. School is pretty much drowning me. I'm in the process of studying for my Intro to the Music Industry exam. I finished a recording engineering one today. Thursday is Intro and MIDI. Those are both bound to be insanely tough, and I'm a little scared.

I am studying my ass off. I refuse to do poorly in this program. I need to work my ass off. I think I am going to quit my job. It's becoming WAY too overwhelming, and I need to focus on school more. And I need to have fun now and again. I want to go out, meet people.

Everything just sort of feels like it's falling apart... and I'm trying REALLY hard to keep everything together. It's taking a lot out of me. Mostly my relationships with people are what stress me out the most. The school stuff is tangible, I can deal with it. It's hands on, and I'm the only one responsible for my destiny in that sense. My relationships, however, have two people involved... and I just feel like the only giver in most of them.

Sometimes I wish I could just be honest... with other people, and with myself. I always seem to set myself up for failure in the relationships in my life. Some of my relationships are better than they've ever been... but there are others that are most definitely suffering, and I'm not sure I'll be able to resucitate them. I guess it's time for things to go their own way. It's just hard to let go of some things. It's hard to let go of a strong notion. It's hard to let go of something you want to work to save. But in all honesty... you can't do it on your own. You just can't.