Dance dance revolution

So I feel really out of control lately.

Everything... is complicated. School is pretty much drowning me. I'm in the process of studying for my Intro to the Music Industry exam. I finished a recording engineering one today. Thursday is Intro and MIDI. Those are both bound to be insanely tough, and I'm a little scared.

I am studying my ass off. I refuse to do poorly in this program. I need to work my ass off. I think I am going to quit my job. It's becoming WAY too overwhelming, and I need to focus on school more. And I need to have fun now and again. I want to go out, meet people.

Everything just sort of feels like it's falling apart... and I'm trying REALLY hard to keep everything together. It's taking a lot out of me. Mostly my relationships with people are what stress me out the most. The school stuff is tangible, I can deal with it. It's hands on, and I'm the only one responsible for my destiny in that sense. My relationships, however, have two people involved... and I just feel like the only giver in most of them.

Sometimes I wish I could just be honest... with other people, and with myself. I always seem to set myself up for failure in the relationships in my life. Some of my relationships are better than they've ever been... but there are others that are most definitely suffering, and I'm not sure I'll be able to resucitate them. I guess it's time for things to go their own way. It's just hard to let go of some things. It's hard to let go of a strong notion. It's hard to let go of something you want to work to save. But in all honesty... you can't do it on your own. You just can't.

The flood gate has opened.

So pretty much today was the day I realised the extreme extent of work layed out before me.


A midterm next week... a theory test on Friday... an essay due within the next couple of weeks... an upcoming MIDI assignment... an already late blues assignment... an intro to the music industry test next weekend... a presentation on bluegrass at the end of the month... a song analysis presentation at the beginning of next month... two weekends away from home (with little time to work and/or study) in a row...


I've been doing homework since I got home at 6:30pm. It's time to call it a night, but I have a feeling I will toss and turn. From here on out, my life is school.

I Jinx myself.

So I made a post about how lame Junk Mail is and what do I get? JUNK COMMENTS! Wtf is up with that!?

Oh well, I guess I had it coming.

So today is a boring school day. Class from 9am-10am, then home for like an hour and a half, then I catch the bus back to school. Normally it's until 4:30-5ish, but today class ends at like 3ish. Whooooooooo hooooooooo. We're learning more mic techniques. Should be good times... always is. Except when it's not, because, well, then it's not.

Hopefully Jack's class tomorrow will be more exciting than last week when everyone was falling asleep. As humourous as it was, it took everything I had not to nod off with the rest of em. Instead I resigned myself to mocking those that were falling asleep... this stimulated me enough to stay awake.

I'm going to call and bitch at the phone company today for sending me a bill for the month of September, when I had no phone. The real kicker is that as soon as our phone was hooked up (sept. 30th), I called them to tell them to make sure they didn't charge us for September. Then I get a bill in the mail for Sept. 2nd - 28th. I didn't even have phone service until the 30th! They are such dumbasses.

Anyways, that's pretty much the excitement du jour. I know, it's not much.... but hey, take what you can get. I want to do something fun tonight... but I'm fresh out of ideas.

Love... is a burning thing, and it makes a fiery ring.

Sooo today was a huge f'n waste of a day.

I went to bed at like 3:30am last night... woke up at 6:45 am and drove my roomate to work, cuz otherwise she'd have to bike, and leave at like 5... and I didn't want her to get shanked. So when I got back, I didn't fall asleep until about 7:40am... and I woke up at 3pm. WTF!? How do I manage to sleep so late?

So then we immediately left for dinner at my roomate's Mom's house. It was a LOT of food, I seriously ate so much. But it was SO good. So when we came home, we were tired from turkey. So I decided to watch 'Saved' again. Still love that movie. Still want to marry Patrick Fugit. So after that I pretty much fell in and out of sleep until 10:30pm, while watching T.V.

Bad choice. It's 11:30pm and now I'm wide awake. I have to get up at 7am for school tomorrow... this could be a rough night. Gah. Oh well, I am drinking neocitron right now, and maybe that will put me to sleep. Here's hoping.

I'm listening to some Johnny Cash, some Social Distortion, and some other stuff... good music. I'm kind of glad it's Tuesday tomorrow. Weekends are relaxing, but somewhat boring for me... I need to start going out more often.

Also, I wish Junk Mail didn't exist. I get the lamest stuff. Ugh.

Kay, so this has been long, and pointless... pretty much like my life. hahaha.

Pointless ramblings for the sake of typing

So what is there to write? Nothing exciting, that's for sure... I've had a pretty relaxing weekend. Yesterday, I went and got groceries, and cleaned my apartment a bit. Then people came over, and that was fun. We watched the movie 'Saved'... sooo good. It was my second time seeing it, I seriously love it.

I'm just waiting to leave for Blair's house for Thanksgiving dinner. I'm kind of nervous about meeting her parents... is that weird? I dunno, I just like to make a good impression on people.

I also hate putting myself in awkward situations. That's also why I HATE job interviews. Because pretty much it's a judging session. 'Let's see how uncomfortable this person gets while we ask them relatively useless questions that everyone answers the same way anyways, and based on their demeanor, we may or may not hire them'.

On a different note, I like listening to Chris Isaak. And I still love fall (yes, still, as in... my mind hasn't changed since I wrote that yesterday). What else? What else is there?

I like turkey. And can't wait to eat some this evening. I miss my mommy's cooking, because that woman can cook.

Next weekend is Toronto... I am fairly excited for this. On a scale of one to ten, I'd give myself about a seven. Anyways, I am off. I have to stop at the bank on my way to dinner... here goes nothin!!

P.S. I have had pins and needles in half of my hand for about three days straight. I think that's not right.

Thanks.

So it's Thanksgiving weekend. Honestly, I miss my family so much, and my friends as well... I'm not going to lie, I REALLY wish I was going to be at home for thanksgiving, but I'm also really happy.

Blair is home for the weekend. Her and Ken, possibly Kelly, and Carly, too, are coming over tonight. We are going to make pad thai and, I don't know what else we are going to do, but yeah. It'll be fun... it always is.

Blair invited me to her thanksgiving dinner, which is awesome. I was so worried about spending the holiday alone. I seriously would have cried if I were going to be completely by myself. So tomorrow night, I am going to her house for dinner. I bought some wine to bring today.

This morning, my roomate's mom called me to see if I wanted to come over on Monday night for their thanksgiving dinner. So I may go to that, as well.

I have the best friends in the entire world, seriously. Like... it just means so much that to know that I won't be alone even though I can't be at home.

School is going well. Not too much work so far... I have a feeling I will be inondated with projects this month. That's okay though. I'll get by. I've met a couple awesome people, too, which is always good... I love making new friends.

Work sucks, as always. I had a job interview at West 49... it went really well, so I am hoping that pans out and I can quit stupid Williams. I am so sick of working there, I never want to again. Maybe West 49 will call on Monday and then I can skip my Thursday shift at Williams, screw them over like they've done to me soooo many times, and go see Rosesdead. Maybe, just maybe. But I doubt it.

Anyways, so it's a good Thanksgiving weekend in the longrun I guess. It's good October weather now... I love Fall. It's such a romantic season. I don't mean romantic as in, LOVE EVERYWHERE YAY! but romantic as in, pretty... cozy... etc. If you don't get it now, you never will.

Anyways, I'm off.

Amazing

So... I guess I got a new blog. I have a livejournal but that's sort of boring. This one seems more exciting. Why? I don't know.

So let's start at the very beginning... because, well, it's a very good place to start. (Oh, the Sound of Music... how easy it is to quote from you).

I'm in London. Got a cool apartment, a good roomate... just started re-making friends, since all of mine here seem to have fallen off the face of the earth.

I'm studying the music industry. Audio engineering, production, and music business. Could I have a picked a better program? I think not. Everything about it fascinates me, oddly enough. It's still hard to wake up early for school, but you know, ya win some, ya lose some.

What else? I haven't written anything in a long time. I feel like I am out of practice. I want to start writing some good songs again, but I feel like I can't. Oh well. I've started playing 'piano' again. I say 'piano' because technically I play my keyboard because my mom got rid of my piano, and even if she hadn't, it would be in Thunder Bay.

Sooo I play my keyboard. I am presently working on 'Breathe (2 am)' by Anna Nalick. I'd love to record it and eventually do the vocals myself.

Hmm what else? Well, I don't really think anyone is going to CARE about this, lol, so I am going to end it here. It's 2:40 am and I am sleepy.


Let's end with a quote.

'I stay wrecked and jealous for this... for this simple reason I just need to keep you in mind as something larger than life.'