So please forgive what I have done... You can't stay mad at the setting sun. We all get tired, I mean eventually there is nothing left to do but sleep.

It'll be a brand new day... in a life that you hate.

If it makes you less sad, I will die by your hand.

I hope you find out what you want. I already know what I am.

And if it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again.

And you can tell me how vile I already know that I am.


I'll grow old and start acting my age.

It'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate.

A crown of gold. A heart that's harder than stone.

And it hurts a whole lot, but it's missed when it's gone.


Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not. I'm glad that you can forgive.

I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget.


If it makes you less sad, I'll move out of the state.

You can keep to yourself. I'll keep out of your way.

And if it makes you less sad, I'll take your pictures all down.

Every picture you paint, I will paint myself out.

It's cold as a tomb, and it's dark in your room, when I sneak to your bed to pour salt in your wounds.

So call it quits or get a grip. Say you wanted a solution.

You just wanted to be missed. Call me a safe bet.

I'm betting I'm not. I'm glad that you can forgive.

I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget...


You are calm and reposed. Let your beauty unfold.

Pale white, like the skin stretched over your bones.

Spring keeps you ever close. You are second hand smoke.

You are so fragile and thin. Standing trial for your sins.

Holding onto yourself the best you can.

You are the smell before rain. You are the blood in my veins.

Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not.

I'm glad that you can forgive.

I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget.

I need to start loving music again.

My life is falling apart at the seams. I don't even know what to do.

Supermassive Black Hole

I'm so obsessed with this song as of late.

when i finally get my own place...

when i finally get my own place
the walls will be white
when i finally get my own place
i will stay out every night
and it will be quiet

when i finally get my own place
it'll do its best to please me
when i finally get my own place
it will have windows that will leak
a garden i won't weed, fish i won't feed

you don't need to be lonely
you don't need to be lost
you don't need to know what your living for
you just knock on my door

when i...
when i...
when i finally get my own place

i'll fly into a rage
i'll knock myself out
and alter hours of whispering throught the keyhole
and i let myslef back into your arms
you don't need to be lonely
you don't need to be lost
you don't need to know what your living for
you just knock on my door

when i finally get my own place
however low i go
it won't say a word
let the floor come up to meet me
the walls collapse to keep me
its the only way
you don't need to be lonely
you don't need to be lost
you don't need to know what your living for...
you don't ned to be lonely
you don't need to be lost
you don't need to know what your living for,
you don't have to be sure
you just knock on my door
when i...
when i...

I'm gonna take a film production or screenplay writing course this summer.

Writing exercises

Okay so today marks a couple of things.

I am staking a claim on my creativity. I am going to develop it. I am going to stop feeling so stagnant all the time.

I am going to WRITE again!!!

For me, this is a huge deal. I used to write every day. I used to LOVE writing. I used to lose myself in it for hours upon hours.

But I haven't written anything worthwhile in a very, very long time. And I really want to get a move on. I am still waiting for that genius idea to come to me, but someday, it will and I will be ready.

SO I've started doing writing exercises. Every day. Just like going to the gym, only for my creative mind... for my creative SOUL.

The first one I did yesterday was list 31 simple pleasures. Now every day I write about one of them for FIVE minutes.

Starting tomorrow.

Here are my 31 simple pleasures:

1) Smelling summertime
2) Driving with good music & the sunroof open
3) Getting off work early for an afternoon
4) When my apartment is tidy
5) Reading a good, long book
6) Waking up to the smell of coffee
7) An ice cream truck that drives by when it’s hot
8) Sitting in the sunshine
9) Bike-riding along the beach
10) Coming across a small amount of ‘found money’
11) Smores
12) Getting into bed when my sheets are freshly washed
13) Roadtrips
14) Getting letters in the mail
15) Dreams in which you feel loved
16) Dreaming and not having to wake up
17) Writing something that comes out easily & is truly fulfilling
18) Relating to a song so much that it scares you
19) Seeing live music that you love
20) Watching a movie you love over and over
21) Hearing a song that makes you relax
22) Getting a commending email
23) My nephew telling me he loves me
24) A glass of wine
25) A long, warm shower
26) The first day you no longer need to wear a winter coat
27) The first snowfall
28) The autumn time
29) Having coffee and reading
30) Feeling secure
31) Getting a much-needed hug


SO now that I've gotten those, starting tomorrow I will write about one of them EVERY day for a month. If I miss a day here or there, I will make it up, I promise. But I WILL do this! I need to .

Also - I am going to do character development writing exercises. Because characters are the heart of stories, and I need to develop a good one. I WILL write again, and it WILL be something worth reading!! It will be a struggle but I can do this and I need to do this for my own sanity!!!!!

Decode.

How can I decide what's right, when you're clouding up my mind? I can't win your losing fight all the time... Not gonna ever own what's mine, when you're always taking sides. But you won't take away my pride... No, not this time. Not this time.

How did we get here? When I use to know you so well... How did we get here? Well, I think I know, the truth is hiding in your eyes. And it's hanging on your tongue, just boiling in my blood.
But you think that I can't see what kind of man that you are, if you're a man at all.

Well, I will figure this one out on my own... On my own ("I'm screaming I love you so")... On my own (My thoughts you can't decode)....

How did we get here? When I use to know you so well, yeah. How did we get here? Well, I think I know.

Do you see what we've done? We've gone and made such fools of ourselves. Do you see what we've done? We've gone and made such fools of ourselves. Yeah... How did we get here?

When I use to know you so well... How did we get here? Well, I use to know you so well.

I think I know... I think I know... There is something I see in you. It might kill me I want it to be true...